meds

It was/is the biggest mistake I had made. But I could change it. I could choose not to be that person. I would choose the correct thing. With no thought to my punishment or amends. Do I take my pills so I don't have to feel that gut retching emptiness? I think not. I still feel it. I can control how often I feel it. It's best not to live continually in that pain. Yeah, I want to be able to make it through this awfulness with out meds but for now; I need them. I am building a support system but it is difficult to find the level of commitment is daunting. Always available and helpful. I don't know that I could do it. And yet I would expect it.

Therapy, speaking and learning different ways of responding or do things is well hadn't 'been very useful or healing for me. I would give it another go. I need help and support. I feel so alone. Help me Heavenly Father. I need and love You.